The Fatal Recipe
by Smoky Opium
Summary: They say alchemy begins in the kitchen. But in the case of the Elric brothers, so does death.


ATTENTION: I also have a fun little poll that will be open till sometime in December about what kind of work you would like to see me publish more of in the first half of next year.

 **Disclaimer:** Hagane no Renkinjutsushi (Fullmetal Alchemist) © Hiromu Arakawa. No profit is being made from this story. This story does not necessarily reflect the author's religious views, beliefs or morals.

 **Rating:** PG

 **Warning:** May contain spoilers. Angst. Mild Psychological. Minor mentions of blood.

 **Summary:** They say alchemy begins in the kitchen. But in the case of the Elric brothers, so does death.

 **Story type:** Manga cannon reflective AU.

 **Pairing:** None.

 **AN (may contain spoilers for story and cannon):** Seriously, I'm pretty sure this is the last time I ever try to write a FMA fic that involves the human chemical makeup and the process of alchemy. Actually the processes of transmutation wasn't so bad, but the elements took a ridiculous amount of time to research for what I was expecting to be a short tribute fic. Now, although I regard this as a Manga based fic, I did borrow the "ring of flowers" from the 2003 anime, so just be aware of that.

Conception Date: 3/10/2013

Completion Date: 21/2/2014

 **Historical/factual Notes:** Actually, when I wrote this fic, I thought that they wouldn't have known what DNA was at the time, so I used the term "soul data" instead. Turns out it was first noted in 1869. However the hereditary component wasn't proposed till 1927 and was only confirmed in 1952. The main FMA time line takes place in the middle of all this from 1901 till 1917, so that's neither here nor there. However factoring in their research into chimeras, I think their knowledge of biological sciences would be a little more advanced, hence why I've included DNA although it wasn't very advanced at the time.

Now catharsis can refer to either emotional or physical purging. As should be evident in the context, I use it here to refer to emotional catharsis. One of the ways this might happen is through crying. Why we cry is surprisingly complex; shock, grief, fear, happiness, relief are just some of the emotions that can result in crying. Psychological studies on children (yes, as a matter of fact I have read studies on children, crying and catharsis) indicate that unlike adults they don't necessarily expect to feel better after crying, it's all dependent on the context. Crying in children is a way of getting the attention of the caregiver/s to readjust the child's emotional state. Protest crying in adults occurs when, as a child there was uncertainty about the availability of the caregiver to sooth the child. Edward's reaction could very well be the result of protest crying, whereas Al feels like he can cry and feel come level of comfort, since his caregiver (Edward) is available to provide that comfort. As always please contact me for references if you want to know more.

"first beat of a butterfly's wings"; this a reference to the butterfly effect. It stems from the idea that the displacement of air caused by a butterfly's wing can cause a tornado on the other side of the world. Basically a small change in a complex system can multiply into a large effect.

 **The Fatal Recipe**

Edward remembers the first time he cooked with his mother. They were in the kitchen, four year old little Alphonse was toddling around their mother's feet, a belt and string keeping him on the other side of the kitchen, out of most harm's way. He watched as his mother took out the ingredients for the pancakes, the flour, baking powder, milk, eggs and sugar. Being the curious child he was, he asked his mother the purpose of each ingredient. With an indulgent smile at her curious child, she had patiently explained them all.

 _Comprehension_

'Well my little man, since you are so curious, would you like to help mummy?' She had asked. Enthusiastically nodding he had been lifted onto one of the kitchen chairs. As he stirred, he watched in fascination as the milk was combined with the flour, the way the vivid streak of broken egg yolk merged with the mixture as the sugar was added. His insatiable mind observed as solid ingredients became a liquid and as liquid thickened.

 _Deconstruction_

He watched as his mother poured thick dollops of the mix into the frypan, barely listening as she warned him not to get too close. Watched the mix change, transform; the little bobbles of air rising to the top of the hardening mix. Observed how the heat changed the colour of the mix. Scrutinized in curiosity as the thick liquid became a solid, to be plated and drowned in toppings.

 _Reconstruction_

All they needed was Mother. Everything would be alright if she was here. The thoughts of the young; their world revolves around their own comfort. They don't stop to think, but who could blame them? Scientific studies on monkeys showed that in fearful situations, baby monkeys would seek comfort over food. Little wonder why they clung to their mother's grave for so long. The instinct that caused babies to reach for their mothers, urged them to seek their own. And if Death had taken her, what of it? They would get her back.

 _Water thirty-five litres…_

That most precious of liquids, right next to blood. Both symbols of life, however where running blood represented death, running water represented life. It was the eternal symbol of life, the circle coming round over and over.

 _Carbon twenty kilograms…_

Edward had never appreciated how precious carbon actually was before that night. Such a common substance, but so varied in its forms from bright cool diamonds to darkest dullest graphite. He remembered picking up a pencil and looking at it in wonder staring at the grey tip in fascination and awe. To think such a simple thing was an essential part of the chemical basis of all life.

 _Ammonia four litres..._

Genius can so easily lead to arrogance, doubly so when coupled with youth. There was a reason the texts forbade bringing back the dead. Maybe if they had been a little older, they would have been able to reason out why, for what price could possibly be equal to a human soul? Such a unique and individual thing, crafted by circumstances and experience all unto its own.

 _Lime one point five kilograms…_

If they were going to create their mother they would need something to keep her together, and what better material than lime? Its very name referred to adhering and sticking. But it was such a dangerous ingredient, did they really need this much to transmute their mother?

 _Phosphorus eight hundred grams…_

Another essential ingredient for life, essential in something so basic he had taken it for granted; DNA. One afternoon while researching he had fallen off the stool in their father's library and scraped his shin badly, fat drops of blood had quickly welled up and Edward remembered looking at them in fascination. Within each drop was thousands, maybe even millions of bits of DNA, their existence made possible by such a dangerous volatile element.

 _Salt two hundred and fifty grams..._

Salt equivalent to the tears they shed, freely or otherwise. The act of crying is often cathartic, the purging of emotions. Alphonse wept freely, tears cleansing and purifying himself of the grief over the one they had lost. However Edward held his tears in stubborn silence, refusing to accept the reality that lay before them. For if he cried, that would mean losing her forever and that was something he could not bear to face.

 _Saltpetre one hundred grams…_

Edward had hardly been able to believe it that so many dangerous elements were involved in the composition of a human body. Was he seriously supposed to put the main ingredient of gunpowder in the materials that made up his mother?

 _Sulphur eighty grams…_

Golden yellow like the sun, their sun; the warmth of their world. Another essential element in the biological processes of life, it was in proteins and enzymes, present in essential vitamins that the human body needed to survive. Every living cell needed it and they needed their mother alive. All Edward had ever wanted was for her to smile, that radiant heart-warming smile that reached up into her eyes turning them the colour of liquid chocolate. That smile that said "this is home".

 _Fluorine seven point five grams..._

Slowly, the idea fermented in the back of Edward's mind, rooted in the responsibility of brotherhood and watered by the silent tears he refused to let fall. Surely there was some way to get their mother back. Some method, or formula. A recipe. They had seen how their mother's body had betrayed her. He remembered how he cooked pancakes with their mother, mixing the wet and dry ingredients to form something completely different. Why couldn't they do the same for their mother? Maybe all they needed was to make a new body for her and she would be able to come back.

 _Iron five grams…_

The very name infers strength, durability, hardness. However that was far from the truth. Pure iron is soft, softer than aluminium, but spoil its purity and its' strength can increase a thousand fold. After that day when Edward remembered that time before the transmutation, he would remember iron. In their purity, they had been so innocent and unknowing, despite the wisdom that they supposedly had. However by sullying that purity they had become strong, like iron tempered by carbon, they became steel.

 _Silicon three grams..._

You would think that an essential element for life would be more abundant than the few small flakes that lay in the palm of his hand. Was the human body so very delicate? Could these few flakes really make the difference between having their mother or… Edward didn't even contemplate the possibility. There could be no "or", they had to succeed. They didn't even fully understand the role of silicon in the process of life. What if the human body actually needed more? What if it needed less? Edward didn't allow himself to contemplate the matter any further as he let the flakes drop onto the pile of dry ingredients.

 _And fifteen other trace elements._

The ingredients were easy to get. In a rural farming community, no one paid much attention to a couple of boys buying farming fertilisers or grocery shopping. And if the amounts they were buying were a little odd, well it was no matter.

 _Finally the soul data_

She had asked them to transmute a ring of flowers for her. That had been life. If they could do it on a small scale, why couldn't they do it on a larger one? Why couldn't they do the same for their mother? It was exactly the same principle. It should work. It had to work. They couldn't bear to think of the alternative. After all what more did they have to lose?

They knew that the circle of life only turned one way. Surely that month on the island should have taught them that reversing it was impossible. But don't they say to be human is to dream? However dreams that cannot be made reality, are useless. Did that make the Elric brothers useless? Or was it the first beat of a butterfly's wings?

So the twin Icarus donned their wings and flew high into the sky. Higher and higher, into the realm of the gods seeking to reverse what had been dictated; that life should ever only flow one way. In their arrogance they were struck down by the blinding light of the sun they sought. Crying they plummeted to earth, reaching for each other as they fell. Their wings caught fire, teaching them a lesson that they should have already learnt. The younger twin burned up completely; there was not even a trace of ash. The older twin, spared the same fate by fickle fate, cried his rage against the heavens; for they had been wrong to think they had nothing more to lose. With a flesh sacrifice, the lonely Icarus made a deal with the gods for the soul of his brother. Their bond sealed in blood, they clung even more tightly together than before; one without a body the other without an arm and leg.

So they looked defiantly up at the gods and vowed to regain what they had lost in their foolishness.

The flow of life only went one way; every life was precious and a soul was priceless. What was lost beyond the gate could never be regained, but that didn't mean they couldn't get back what was before the Gate. These were the pillars of truth that would speak through their every action in the years to come. It would become the guiding light in the years to come, much like their mother was, and one day they would become that guiding light.


End file.
